Thursday, June 26, 2008

The Law of Averages Strikes Again

I'm sitting in Pittsburgh Airport.
There are massive thunderstorms rolling through.
The plane taking me to Chicago was delayed out of Baltimore until 7:35 PM. It took off from BWI around the time the thunderstorms began to roll through.

Original Departure time: 8:15 PM.
Current Departure time: 10:10 PM.

I suspect I'll still be in Pittsburgh tomorrow morning.

I remain a fugitive from the law of averages.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Things I an Happy About

  1. I have a job interview on Tuesday.
  2. I was recruited directly by the company.
  3. My former boss said she would hire me all over again.
  4. My credit card is paid off.
  5. My student loan is below 10K.
  6. Ping Pong and Lego Star Wars on the Wii. Lego Indiana Jones is next.
  7. I finally found software that will allow me to watch Ensemble c'est tout.
  8. I have the house completely to myself tomorrow.
  9. Barack Obama will be the next President of the United States.
  10. Fizzy Italian pink lemonade.

One interesting thing:
As a condition to the interview I had to agree to sign a non-disclosure agreement.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Dear Woman...

...Behind Me at the Starbucks in Market Square at 7:35 AM this Morning -

I'm happy you have a hobby. I have hobbies. I write for this little blog. I'm learning how to play Lego Star Wars on the Wii (or I will if I ever get the time. I've had the system almost a week and no time to play. But I digress...). I read. I go to the gym and ride my bike. I play with my cats and spend time with my husband. I'm sure there are other things I do that I just can't think of right now.

Your hobby? Passive-aggressively food and fat shaming complete strangers ahead of you in line, who happen to purchase a piece of low-fat strawberries and cream coffee cake? NOT OK. NOT even close to OK. NOT even on the same planet, in the same solar system, in the same universe as OK.

I imagine you think I am stupid, which is why you raised concerns over my purchase of the low-fat strawberries and cream coffee cake. I imagine you believe that I'm the sort of uneducated food consumer who can not reason out that a food item with the words "cream" and "coffee cake" in it is probably not as "low-fat" as it claims to be. It was so nice of you to consider my feelings by raising this issue with the baristas instead taking it up directly with me. We would not want to be rude after all. How wonderful that you are able to harness the awesome power of the series of tubes to go out to the Starbucks website and look up the caloric information for this specific piece and be able to whip it out while in line, as I was paying for my grande skim chai and low-fat strawberries and cream coffee cake.

Do you know that I first contemplated the purchase of the artisan cheese danish? I shudder, nay, perish at the thought of your brain exploding in reaction to the notion that someone would actually buy and enjoy an item that, on any given day, exceeds the recommended fat allowance for a person of my gender and age.

Naturally, paying for my purchase was not enough to get away from you. Instead I had to stand and listen to your lecture on the Starbucks energy drink and its overabundance of calories whilst I waited for my grande skim chai. I kept waiting for your commentary on the drink I ordered, but tragically nothing came of it, at least not while I remained in the store.

Oh strange woman standing behind me in the Starbucks line, you are singularly the most rude person I have ever encountered. You have taken the top spot away from the friend of my in-laws, who upon hearing my comment that we lived near an excellent Italian bakery (in my old Pittsburgh neighborhood, not my current one), looked me up, looked me down, then said "You better stay away from that place or you'll lose your nice figure". He has been demoted to second place. Congratulations!

In closing, I owe you an apology. I said some not-very-nice things about you once I reached work. Instead of rising above your effort to shame me into putting down the pastry, my immediate response was to lower myself to your level with negative comments about your appearance. Which makes me equally wrong, even if you were not there to hear what I said. Please accept that my comments were made out of anger and I regret them. After some reflection I realized that your behavior spoke more about your personal insecurities then they did about my eating habits.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

OK, I Lied

I can't bear to watch tonight's game. I tried. I failed.

Either way, raise your sticks one last time guys. You exceeded everyone's expectations.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Fleury, Hallowed be thy Name

If a team ever won a game based on the sheer will of a single player, then the Penguins won last night's triple overtime based on the will of Marc-André Fleury.

There is nothing I can say that has not all ready been expressed by a multitude of sports writers, bloggers and casual fans. I was not planning on watching Game 5. I was going to read quietly and go to bed.

Instead I stayed up until after 1:00 AM, with friends, witnessing a game I only dreamed about seeing and could barely stand to watch. I could not stand to watch a shot by Hall Gill go astray and break Ryan Malone's nose. I could not stand the look in the eyes of the normally stoic Sergei Gonchar, sidelined to the bench by a back injury.

But I watched it. All of it. All 110 minutes of it. And I'll do it again tomorrow night.

Sunday, June 01, 2008

My Finals Experience

Was marred by Mellon Arena's decision to arbitrarily enforce their “no cameras with lens greater than 3 inches” policy. I was not permitted to enter the arena with the camera, so J returned it to the car and sought out an official who clarified that enforcement was up to the discretion of security and that any camera that appeared “too professional” was not permitted in the arena.

This is the same camera I have been bringing into the arena for two years without issue. I am frustrated and disappointed that the lens of my camera, which meets NHL guidelines for amateur photography equipment at events*, was deemed a potential obstruction while fans carrying in full-sized cardboard + aluminum foil or blowup replicas of the Stanley Cup, large poster board signs and giant sized stuffed Penguins are given a pass. I am frustrated that the people who insist on standing, leaving or returning to their seats while the puck is in play are deemed not enough of an obstruction to warrant a confrontation with an usher, but my camera, which actually remains securely zipped in it's carrying case for 90% of the game, is an annoyance.

And to deem my camera as “too professional” would make the actual professional photographer who stood on the landing below us during the entire game, with her super telephoto zoom lens, laugh her ass off.

Then the Penguins had to go and make it worse by allowing the Red Wings to score a weak (it bounced OFF Fleury) go-ahead goal, thus giving the Detroit the motivation it needed to shut down the Penguins offense completely. The Penguins can learn a lot by studying Detroit's defensive plays. I predict that Detroit will wrap up the series at home Monday night and will be hoisting the Stanley Cup.

I'm OK with Detroit winning. They are a better, more experienced team. And Detroit fans are welcome back at Mellon Arena anytime. They did not boo our players, returned good natured taunting with the same and, most surprisingly, left the arena quietly at the end of the game. Although it may have been shock that kept them from openly celebrating.

*I know this because I looked up the guidelines and measured the fully extended lens before the Winter Classic.