Outer Banks I – Lost in Northern Virginia

 In a moment of weakness many months ago I agreed to an vacation with J's immediate family on the Outer Banks of North Carolina. The primary reason I caved after almost ten years of just saying no, was because my father-in-law finally agreed to accept the monetary contributions from all interested parties that would facilitate the renting of a larger house.

I can't say that the week was all bad. The beach was lovely and it was good for Toddler Alien to spend time with his five cousins. But it was not the most relaxing of vacations and J and I are both leaning towards waiting another 10ish years before we even contemplate doing it again.

Our journey began with a drive to Northern Virginia, home of my brother and his wife. The initial drive as lovely. We skipped the highway in favor of navigating through the Laurel Highlands, past Nemacolin Woodlands. We did well and made good time until we got lost trying to find my brother's home. After several (increasingly desperate) calls to my sister-in-law, K was able to pinpoint our position well enough to come get us and lead us back to the home she shares with my brother.

A snack and two glasses of sangria slush shook the dust from the road. It was a late night for everyone, including Toddler Alien, who was enjoying the novelty of being allowed to play with tupperware well past his bedtime.

Because we could not check into the rental until Sunday, we spent Saturday trying to stay cool in the 90˚+ heat. K and went to Office Depot to find clipboards and to Wegman's to buy milk for the house and snacks for the road. We walked out with milk, snacks and four bottles of Folie à Deux Ménage à Trois red wine.

While J napped in the afternoon, K and I took Toddler Alien for his first dip in the pool. Because of the heat, the water felt like it came from a warm tub, but TA did not seem to care. He splashed and giggled and had a great time.

Sunday morning we packed up the car and started the drive south.

An Uncomfortable Moment

I have to make this quick and dirty, as I promised J that I would get some more sleep to mitigate the after affects of the migraine I suffered yesterday. The upside was that I was prepared and had medication ready when the aura started(1), so I was able to enjoy a pain-free day. But I am still wiped out and need the additional sleep.

J's parents and nephew T came today to help J clean up the back yard(2). T is 12 years old, loves spending time with his grandfather and volunteered to tag along and help out.

Toddler Alien adores his grandmother. In his hierarchy of favorite people Grandma is first, Daddy is second, I am third, then there is everyone else.

A little past four we gathered for dinner. Toddler Alien gets anxious when he sees that dinner is forthcoming. We have been working on getting him to remain calm while preparing him meals, but it has been a long, hard journey to turn him from screaming maniac to civilized child(3). Even though he had been snacking on cheddar Goldfish crackers all afternoon, he began to fuss. To quiet him I poured the rest of the crackers from his snack cup onto the tray's surface.

And he promptly and deliberately threw several of them onto the floor while screaming. J's father admonished not to throw food.

And I promptly and deliberately removed the tray, made him get down from the chair, pick up all the crackers he had thrown and walked him to the trash can so he could see me throwing them away. All the while he cried, but he picked them up.

All the while my in-laws, my nephew and my husband watched. J watched tense, ready to spring in an defend me. His parents and our nephew were silent.

The entire time this was occurring, I was incredibly self conscious. I knew that I was holding up dinner. I knew that the easy thing would have been to quietly pick up the crackers and not delay our guests. And I thought, This is really, really hard and embarrassing.

But I did it anyway. After the trip to the garbage can I put Toddler Alien back in his chair and we sat down to a nice meal of cold cuts, egg salad, cold drinks and cold pickles. Toddler Alien ate an egg salad sandwich, had some prosciutto and finished with some dried apples. Without acting up once.

(1) The worst migraines I have are always triggered by me running around in 80+ degree, sunny, humid weather without eating enough.

(2) Four trees down, four to go. I mourned the loss of the crabapple and quietly cringed that we had to cut down a mulberry too, but the ridiculously tall pine trees had to go. As it turned out, one of the trees was infested with stinkbugs to the point that the tree was probably going to come down on its own anyway.

(3) I can't even begin to imagine what prompts this behavior, but it is so otherwise out of the ordinary that even his daycare teachers have commented on it. J's instinct it to put him in the chair and let him scream it out. I'm more likely to try to find something for him to do to “help” me in the kitchen, but it is still difficult.