I went to a second Friend’s Meeting today. The vibe in the
room was much different today. A restless and impatient feeling in the air. A
woman sitting across the aisle from me kept fidgeting – shifting her weight,
moving her legs, changing positions in her chair. I’m not sure if she was the
source or another victim, but listening to her move around made it difficult
for me to concentrate and I found myself fidgeting as well.
Still, it was strange to hear people stand and talk about
the things that I hear in my head but cannot speak with my tongue. One man
talked about the Quaker belief that all are called to the priesthood, even
those who feel unworthy or unsuitable. To be a Friend is to commit one’s self
to it fully, 24/7. A second man spoke of dealing with the deep feelings of
anger he had experienced over the past few weeks, anger at feeling manipulated
by politicians trying to play on his and other’s fears, drowning out the still
small voice inside.
The atmosphere in the room calmed considerably after the
second speech, and brightened as the children returned from First Day School.
I did not stay for the meal. I lost my nerve and my courage
and slipped out after drinking a glass of water. I felt foolish – there was
lunch and an ice cream social to welcome new visitors and I knew I should stay
and try to talk to people. But something in my head froze and my confidence
left me.
