The presents have been unwrapped and our downstairs is a wasteland of bags, opened gifts and unread Christmas letters scattered from living room to dining room and spilling into our tiny kitchen. There is laundry to be completed, dishes to be put away and Wigford has taken up temporary residence under the Christmas tree, sending the blanket covering the metal stand in all directions.
Number of lies I had to tell: One.
That I was working between Christmas and the New Year, in an attempt to ward off the badgering about our non-involvement in the non-stop circus of family related holiday activities. My attempt was completely unsuccessful. Not because his family disbelieved the lie, they just refused to accept the idea that J and myself prefer to use our vacation time for traveling.
Number of fights: None.
The one potential argument was over Phillip Pullman and the His Dark Materials books, which was averted by repeating the following sentences until J's brother gave up.
Sentence 1: I disagree with you, but I'm (not going to/don't want to) argue about it.
Sentence 2: If you deliberately read for statements that are (anti-Catholic and or religion), that is exactly what you will find.
Sentence 3: As the church has always had its share of mysterious rituals from the view of an outsider, creating fictional organizations based on real-life structures within the church does not equate to anti-Catholicism.
Best Gift: Lost Girls by Alan Moore and Melinda Gebbe.
Purchased by J. I have all ready stored the volumes in a safe place as horrifying J's relatives, while tantalizing, is not worth the subsequent fallout.
Oddest Gift: Tickets to The Vagina Monologues.
Purchased by my father. He ended up with two sets and gave one set to my mother, one set to myself. Since we have two extra tickets, we are trying to convince my SIL and future SIL to go with us. An odd gift because I would never, in a million years, imagine my father buying tickets to this play.
Worst Gift: A black and gold “cat themed” sweater.
Purchased by my mother. While I like cats in general, adore my little tribe of three and suggested that the Crazy Cat Lady action figure would be an excellent stocking stuffer, I am not so far deranged as to think wearing a sweater embroidered with cats and sporting buttons in the shape of cat heads is an ideal fashion choice. J did not find my suggestion that I could save the sweater for Steelers games very amusing.
Best Gift I Gave: A small, handwoven Turkish rug with a fish in the center. Given to J since our house is too small for a fish tank.