Accident Artifact

In my study sits an old wooden work bench. It was put together with tongue and groove construction and glue. No nails. I use it as a footstool to prop my feet on while I write. Other purposes this bench has served is as an entertainment center (television on top, vcr suspended between the two supports below), a bed-side table and a rib-breaker.

Literally. I broke two of my ribs on that bench.

In the fall of 1996 I was single and alone on a Friday night with nothing to do and no desire to go anywhere. I decided to hang my bedroom curtains, a menial job I had been putting off.

Rather than walk to the other end of the apartment and grab one of my sturdy kitchen chairs, I decided to use the bench, currently serving as a beside table. Tall enough that I could reach the curtain rods, thread the curtains through and replace the rods, it seemed like a very good idea at the time.

An additional, rather important detail: The feet of this bench are placed three inches in on both sides.

While attempting to straighten a curtain, I moved too far over to the left side of the bench. The bench titled up two legs, towards my body. I fell directly into one of the not-very-rounded corners, breaking two ribs on the right side of my body.

While I remember the pain, I cannot adequately describe what it felt like to have two bones split apart. I remember spending a very long time on the floor after I fell, mainly wishing that my cats would come back and comfort me.

I was also uninsured at the time. I could not afford to call an ambulance and I was in too much pain (and far too poor) to drag myself to my car and drive to the hospital. I called my mother, a registered nurse, instead.

I spent the next six weeks popping the painkillers I was prescribed when I totaled my car earlier that summer, applying bags of corn directly to the site of the break and trying (in vain, as it turned out) to keep my two cats from walking over me while I slept. The latter lead to the worst-pain-I-ever-felt-number-2, when my 15 pound black cat decided to use my body as a conduit from the foot to the head of the bed and stepped directly on the break.

I keep the bench as a reminder to not be stupid when it comes to hanging curtains.