Milestone

I think I bounced my first check ever today, an automated draft for gym fees. In all the years on my own, when I was so poor that my dad had to pay my taxes and my heating bill, I have never bounced a check. I'm still waiting to see which way the equation money in / money out goes.

I did not get paid last week. My company's payroll, sent to the processing company for deposit in our accounts, was overlooked and the mistake was not caught until almost noon on Friday, and only because one of my co-workers emailed the owner (who resides on the West Coast) to tell him that no one in my office got their paychecks. The owner was apologetic, added an extra hundred dollars to each employee's paycheck and will reimburse us for any financial charges due to the mishap. But it still leaves me broke until sometime Tuesday afternoon.

So I am playing what seems to be a common sport for most of my friends, the odds that the funds I transferred when I realized I did not have enough money to cover the draft, are credited before the YMCA attempts to get its money.

Which leads me into the tension fraught ordeal which was having J's parents in our house for Sunday breakfast.

J and I are in trouble right now. Our decision to forgo all family Christmas activities in exchange for a peaceful Noel created a considerable amount of controversy in J's extended family. Since Christmas day we have been subjected to passive-aggressive remarks about our non-attendance at Borg family holiday events. In an attempt to stop further commentary (and so we can take down the Christmas decorations this week) J invited his parents to the house for breakfast on Sunday.

Tensions between J's father and myself are to the point that I spent most of the week prior to the visit nursing a low level migraine (complete with nausea) while J was less than his sunny self. Both of us were anticipating the dropping of another emotional bomb and dreading it.

Into this environment came J's parents. The FIL first shot was at the fruit I had carefully cut up into a salad for the meal. Apparently the addition of mango taints the other fruits and “ruins” the salad.

The meal went downhill from there and hit a low point as I began the story of my missing paycheck, only to hear “They are paying you what you are worth then” come out of that man's mouth, followed by a lecture about not having overdraft protection on my account.

I left the table and contemplated murder. I did the dishes. I listened to “jokes” about how nice it was that I was helping out around the house. I contemplated divorce (not for the first time). I made some more tea for myself. I managed to stay out of the dining room for the rest of the meal. I got one crack in when he asked about the noise in the basement and I responded by telling him that the noise was being made by my first father-in-law.

He did not find that joke very funny. Score one against the bully.

I am convinced that if J's brother had not stopped to visit, there would have been a fight. It would have been ugly. And it probably would have ended in me leaving the house.