Fall Stories

1. I have the coolest doctor, ever. Bad allergies lead to significant breathing problems, which lead to a sinus infection, which lead my doctor to prescribe a steroid based inhaler, a course of antibiotics, an order to see an allergist and a set of instructions on how to make my home and office environment more bearable until it gets cold enough to kill all the remaining pollen.

The cool part came when she looked me straight in the eye and told me that I had to reduce the total number of books in the bedroom to three. When I looked at her in total shock (I had eleven books stacked next to the bed at the time of our conversation) she laughed and said "I have the best patients. Every patient I have given that instruction to has looked at me the same way you are looking at me right now."

2. Early darkness seems to have drawn the slightly eccentric out of their homes and out on to the streets, to linger at bus stops lecturing their fellow citizens about proper deportment on the streets.

I missed the initial incident that led to two black women lecturing a young, drunk, black man about the proper way to conduct himself as a salesperson on the street. (Bear with me. There is a point to identifying their race). As I approached the shelter I noticed that one of the women was smoking, so I elected to stand outside the shelter. But it was drizzling and I wanted to continuing reading one of the thirteen books (obviously I have not followed doctor's orders yet) that reside next to my bed, so I slipped inside the shelter and sat down next to the young man.

And was promptly assaulted by the distinct smell of beer. He was well on his way to drunk.

But he sat quietly while the two women lectured him, even when one of them said that his sales technique, which consisted of him saying "hey sweet baby, c'mere, I have some DVDs for youuuu" would scare white women like myself and a second woman standing in the shelter. *

Shortly after this statement, a bus came and took the two black women away. The young man slurred an apology for possibly scaring us, then tried to sell us a dvd. Failing that, he tried to get fifty cents off of us.

More buses started to pull up, three in a row. Mine was the third. As the first two pulled away, I noticed the third was not pulling up to the stop, so I began walking towards it. As I got closer I could hear the female driver shout for us to speed up and get on, before she was forced to let our young, drunk friend onto the bus.

I was shocked when she shut the door in his face and pulled away from the stop. Shock turned to relief when she explained (and other passengers verified) that he had been drunk, disorderly and had refused to pay the last time he rode her bus.

*Her exact phrase as she was explaining it to him, "No offense to you women; but if you talk like that a white woman, she is going to be afraid of you..."