Martin Straka

I'm a little bit irritated with an eBay seller tonight. I have waited over two weeks for a hockey card I purchased to arrive in the mail. It has not arrived yet and I am starting to believe that I have been fleeced to the tune of $2.51.

I am a fan of the player Martin Straka, a fact that provides an endless source of amusement for my friends. He is not a superstar like Mario Lemieux or Jaromir Jager. He is simply a solid, talented player who you can depend on in a clutch.

On January 15th, I bid on an Upper Deck Martin Straka 2005-06 Jersey card for a whopping $0.01. I won and promptly sent the seller a message requesting a total, since the card was coming from Canada and I wanted to verify the shipping.

It is now January 29th and I have not received the card. I did receive the Tomas Surovy card I won and paid for on January 19th. This card also came from a seller in Canada.

I am not sure who I should be more annoyed with. The seller for so obviously dragging his feet? The postal service? Which one, Canada or the United States? I recently read that the Department of Homeland Security (a name I cannot type or say without mentally snickering) has been opening mail sent to United States citizens from overseas. Does Canada even count?

If someone from that illustrious department has intercepted my mail, will you please send me the fucking card. Thank you.

On a positive note, I am now the very happy owner of a game-worn, autographed Martin Straka Penguins Jersey. I probably paid too much for the thing, but it was hard to pass up. It has a slash mark across the Penguin logo and sweat stains underneath the arms. It is also so large that I could fit two of me in it.