Thursday began with a phone call from UPMC's surgical center verifying that J would be on time for his appointment. UPMC also insisted that J come in for crutch training and subtly implied that the procedure would be postponed until he had the training.
For those wondering how UPMC made three-quarters of a billion dollars in profit last year – this is how. By blackmailing patients into lessons on how to use crutches and sending them home with a glorified ice pack (more on that in a moment).
We left the house early to give us enough time to locate the surgical center and make crutch training. With an hour to spare and the South Hills Village mall mere minutes from UPMC, we stopped at Barnes & Noble to browse through the books. I discovered and recorded new titles from some favorite authors and looked over some of the Portugal guidebooks for a trip next August.
The one thing I did not do was stop and get something to eat. Convinced that I would be able to slip out when J was in crutch training or surgery I made the fatal mistake of passing up the only opportunity I would have all day to get something resembling a meal.
We returned to the center, checked in and headed to the physical therapy unit so J could learn how to use his crutches. In order to save some money I dug up the pair my brother used in high school. After spending almost twenty years in attics the rubber tips were cracked and the padding smelled inexplicably of peanut butter. But they were functional and the correct size. After twenty minutes J had his crutch technique mastered and was ready to be cut open.
And I waited for an opening to slip away and get something to eat. First for the nurses to finish prepping J and take him into surgery, Then for the the surgery to be complete. Then for him to wake up in the recovery room. The opportunity never came. By the time I realized that no meal was forthcoming it was too late to buy a sandwich from the snack bar, as it was closing. My first meal of the day was at 1:30 in the afternoon and consisted of water, a bag or pretzels and a candy bar.
The rest of the day was spent exhausted and half starved. I drove J home and got him settled into bed. I hooked up the glorified ice pack, consisting of a cooler filled with ice water, a filter and a small motor that circulates the iced water through a pad wrapped around his knee. The cooler must be emptied and refilled before the ice melts, every four to six hours. After the third refill and second trip to get ice I realized that several giant bags of frozen vegetables would be less expensive (the contraption cost upwards 150 dollars) and a lot easier, as a thawed bag could be replaced with a frozen one on a rotating basis.
After getting J settled I ran errands. First to the state store for a bottle of rum and bottle of Irish creme. Next was Radio Shack to purchase a power strip so J could plug in his computer and the glorified ice pack without unplugging the clock and the lamp on the nightstand. Finally the grocery store to fill his prescriptions and buy some groceries, including the first of many bags of ice.
I returned home to clean out the cat boxes, fold the laundry, wash the dishes and mop the kitchen floor. I finally got a chance to eat around six, grocery store sushi. The rest of the evening was spent ferrying food, beverages, towels and ice water up and down the stairs and making multiple runs to the gas station for ice. I finally collapsed around one AM, only to wake at four to turn off the cooler before the ice melted away.
Today was more of the same, with a break this afternoon to buy some new towels and t-shirts at the Waterfront. I am dying to try out my new bike, but the heat has been unbearable. It is supposed to break tomorrow, but I will not get an opportunity as J's parents are coming to check on him in the early afternoon and probably will not leave until dark. And Sunday is out since we agreed to watch the first Steeler game of the season at a friend's home.
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