From Zero To Asshole in 2.3 Seconds

My friend T messaged me this afternoon while I was in a staff meeting. T is currently living and working in Europe and I am living vicariously through her as she emails and messages me updates on her adventures. She has been there for almost 18 months and I anticipate seeing her late next spring.

T was upset and after telling me what had happened to her today it was all I could do to stop myself from taking the next flight out and indulging in a serious ass-kicking upon the instigator of her distress, her husband.

I do not have many friends. I am very reserved around people I do not know and have a tendency to come across as distant and standoffish, which does not endear me to many people. However, I am very protective of my family and those friends who are able get past my initial reserve.

T is married and has been the primary source of income for almost three years. She is very loyal and supportive of her husband, who dropped out of his graduate program when he realized how unhappy he was there and has floundered ever since in every attempt to find his way. She tries very hard to make him happy, giving up a good job in country #1, where he was miserable, to move to country #2, where employment is difficult to obtain if you are not a EU citizen.

And he has repaid her devotion by accusing her of being a freeloader, of lacking ambition, of not working as hard as he does. And he said this on the first day of her new job.

W.T.F?

There is more, but that essentially is the heart of the conversation right there. And I am worried. Because there is more. She is thousands of miles away from her family and friends. If something should happen, and I am very afraid based on this most recent exchange something might happen, it will be difficult to get to her to help her out.

So I am in a bit of a dither right now. There are actions I feel she should take to protect herself, but how do I suggest them without being offensive or unsupportive? The best I could do for right now was suggest she see a therapist with or without the husband and promise to have some crazy in-law stories the next time we talked.