Tis the Season - A Rant

It is is less than week before Christmas and I find myself restless, irritable and cranky and feeling all that is not merry. The annual Christmas funk hit at 11:20 Monday morning, while double checking prices for some of the items on J's wish list and realizing that:

1. I did not have $248.00 to waste on a cashmere scarf and
2. Even if I had $248.00 to burn it would not be on a cashmere scarf and
3. Even if I was the type of person to waste $240.00 on a cashmere scarf, it is not as if we are going to be home long enough to open, much less enjoy the gifts we purchased for each other until late Tuesday evening.

From that pleasant beginning my thoughts roamed towards the upcoming Christmas Eve festivities and the in-laws. I wondered if my BIL would instruct me to “control [my] husband” this year. I wondered which of J's cousins would whine about the lack of pattering small feet in our house. I wondered how long the pre-meal blessings would last. I wondered how many times I would have to explain to J's sister that No, we would not be available on New Year's Eve and No, my brother is not being re-deployed to Iraq, he will be in Georgia for the next twelve months. I wondered whether I could exercise the patience to hold my tongue at her platitudes about supporting the troops. I wondered if I could hold my tongue when they nagged about our lack of attendance at church.

From there my mind cast forward to Christmas day, the long drive to my parents, the false cheer of my mother as she tries to pretend my brother's re-deployment is not a big deal. I wondered if she would try to convince my brother to move his wedding date back even later in the spring of 2009, just in case his tour is extended. I wondered how late dinner would be served and whether my father, younger brother and SIL would be able to make it.

Cheery thoughts in mind, I wandered through some of the downtown stores Monday afternoon, trying to find less expensive substitutes for the items on J's list. During my ramble I decided to stop and purchase some funky socks, as my collection of trouser socks is shrinking due to most of them developing holes.

An FYI for anyone out there looking for funky trouser socks. There are no funky trouser socks to be found in Pittsburgh. I know, because I went looking for them on Tuesday evening also. Plenty of blue, brown and beige, but no bright colors or fun patterns. Even the fishnet socks were boring in shades of black and beige.

I see repeated playings of A Very Special David Sedaris Christmas, especially “Seasons Greetings to Our Friends and Family!” between now and December 26th.