Friday Night Entertainment

I'm still attempting to wrap my brain around last night's activities. For once in my amateur writing life I had both a pen and paper available to take notes.

J and I headed to Mellon Arena after work yesterday to watch his nephew play in a basketball game. My first surprise of the evening came when I discovered we had to pay $12.00 each to get into the arena. The nephew was playing in a pre-game before the main event, an ABA match between the Pittsburgh Xplosion and the Toledo Ice.

We cheerfully paid the admission fee and trudged down towards the floor. Since it takes a long time to freeze the ice, the organizers laid a floor on top of the surface and the basketball court on top of the floor. Even with the extra layers, the center of the arena was cold enough to chill my toes and I was glad when we had to move up to the general admission seats. But not before I gave into the temptation to jump over the boards into the Penguins torn-down team box. Unfortunately the boards were covered with a slippery fabric, and all I earned was a twisted knee and a sore back. I will not be trying that stunt on skates any time soon.

I found the arena's decision to cover the boards mysterious. With all the pushing, shoving and hitting that the boards see in an average hockey game, what kind of damage could be caused by the back of a chair? Xplosion games are not usually crawling with media (last night was an exception), so accidentally advertising a competing sponsor's products was not an issue. In addition, only the long sides were covered, not the goal ends.

Most sporting events come with media time-out and half-time entertainment designed to keep the crowds in their seats. The Xplosion was no exception and the half-time show was a circus. Literally, as the entertainment included:

• A group of Shriner's clowns. They made balloons for the kids, conducted a mock game against the South Park girl's basketball team and made a speech about the importance of supporting Shriner's hospitals. The visual aids, in the form of two burn victims, was a nice touch. So was the Shriner clown dressed in a Kevin Stevens t-shirt jersey.


• Four cheerleaders dressed in skin-tight demin clam diggers. One of the cheerleaders was obviously new and a step behind in all of the dances.


• A half-time dance contest that played out as a cross between a middle school dance and a scene from West Side Story (Sharks vs Jets).

The highlight of the evening for most of the crowd was an appearance from Republican candidate for governor Lynn Swann. The man who introduced Swann put a great deal of emphasis on his athletic prowess and four Super Bowl rings, and none on Swann's position on any issue. Out of the appropriately 1800 people, he seemed to have only one detractor.

The Pittsburgh Xplosion dominated the game. The fact that the Toledo Ice was a team seven players strong to the Xplosion's fourteen player bench probably contributed to their loss.

Best quote of the evening came from the announcer: “She was my grade school sweetheart, but I certainly wasn't hers...she obviously didn't get the memo”.